Deadpool Movie: Top Five Quotes

This article was originally published at ComicBook.Com on February 13, 2016.

Deadpool Movie Quotes

They don’t call Deadpool the “Merc with the Mouth” for no reason. No character in superhero comics talks as much smack or cracks as many jokes as this guy. That’s just as true in the new Deadpool movie as it is in his comics. Ryan Reynolds and his co-stars drop jokes even faster than they drop bodies. Here are our five favorite quotes from the new movie, the ones that made us laugh the longest and left us speechless.


  1. “Do you have an off switch?” – Ajax
    “It’s right next to the prostate, or is that the on switch?” – Deadpool

This is one response from Deadpool that pretty much captures the tone of the entire movie in a single line. It’s funny, juvenile, and lightning quick. The retort is the sort of joke that could hold an entire moment, but it quickly discarded as the next line comes. It’s also a response that encapsulates Deadpool perfectly, as the sort of guy who just can’t and won’t stop.

  1. “Cancer is a shit show, like Yakov Smirnoff opening for Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair kind of shit show.” – Deadpool

Deadpool doesn’t have much pathos in it, but it occasionally dances with tragedy and manages to hit the mark with a laugh. This description of cancer may be hilarious, but the absolute horror show of entertainment being described is surprisingly on point. Yeah, this might be a joke, but it feels like the sort of thing someone with both cancer and a great sense of humor might really say.

  1. “Ride a bitch’s back like Yoda on Luke.” – Vanessa

Deadpool’s love interest Vanessa is able to not only keep pace with the Merc with a Mouth while on screen, but often outpaces him with some slamming lines. This sexy come on and pop culture reference is the thing most geeks only dream of a girl saying one day. Not only does it make for a great laugh, but it will forever ruin how we all look at The Empire Strikes Back. Sorry folks.

  1. “Negasonic Teenage What-the-shit? That’s the coolest name ever!” – Deadpool

It’s a good thing Deadpool took a few moments to highlight just how cool Negasonic Teenage Warhead is. She may have the same power set as Cannonball, but Sam Guthrie would pack his bags and leave if he’s smart. This teen girl is a lot more fun and a lot cooler. Just take a look at that name! It’s great and Deadpool is happy to point it out to the rest of the world.

  1. “She’s like the Batman to my Robin, but old, black, blind, and in love with me. Although I’m pretty sure Robin loves Batman.” – Deadpool

This description of Blind Al both encompasses Deadpool’s love of referencing pop culture and his willingness to lampoon it. Now only is Al a lot of fun, recommending how to remove blood stains and mentioning her seedy past with a surly attitude, but she’s pretty much a perfect sidekick for Deadpool. In fact, she’s the opposite of Robin in that she’s not much use and doesn’t love Deadpool at all. That’s what makes this line the tops.

Have you had a chance to see Deadpool yet? What were your favorite quotes? Share in the comments below.


About chasemagnett

Chase is a mild-mannered finance guy by day and a raving comics fan by night. He has been reading comics for more than half of his life (all 23 years of it). After graduating from the University of Nebraska–Lincoln with degrees in Economics and English, he has continued to research comics while writing articles and reviews online. His favorite superhero is Superman and he'll accept no other answers. Don't ask about his favorite comic unless you're ready to spend a day discussing dozens of different titles.
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